Sunday, September 19, 2010

Back to one of the things God has gifted me with!

Oi, my dear ones!

How are you? I pray this finds you well! I've been away from everything praying and going through many changes. God has been stirring my heart and working on it and making it closer to His... like His own heart. For years and years I've been praying to become a woman after His own heart... I feel that those were more simple words than anything else. The desire to change, the desire to become better, the true desire to be a woman according to His design, being led by Him, aligned with His heart... wasn't really there.
I've been here in Atlanta for over a year now, serving with many different ministries. I've been so focused on serving others, on being always busy that it became who I was. I wasn't Helen anymore. I was purely the servant. No, that's not bad at all... depending on the heart and intentions you have with that. I became the 'people pleaser' to be accepted, to feel like I was blending in a culture that wasn't originally mine. Time passed and then I started struggling with my own identity... the whole feeling of being a 'world citizen' took me. I forgot to be the 'heaven citizen' that I truly am, through serving God.
A year has gone by, I've been hurt a thousand times, struggled to not to hurt people with being sincere and honest to myself... and in pieces, torn, I come before the Lord... and finally receive and understand His love. I had to be made empty so then He could fill me up again... and that couldn't feel any better!
I'm just in the beginning of the process of understanding His love for me, but that is already changing me... yes, I still love people -so much!- but I have finally turned the full focus to God!
I can't wait to finally become the woman He has created me to be! No more running, no more hiding... just making myself vulnerable before a Lord that is 'Creator and I'm what You've made'. (Misty Edwards and her songs have been teaching me a lot about God's heart for me:
I'm finally learning that submission and obedience lead to freedom in His Spirit.

I pray you have a blessed day!
With all His love,
His little princess. :)

This has been me for years and years: