Hey, y'all!
I guess it was about time
that I returned to this page. The lack of supposed interesting events in my
life has kept me far from expressing myself here... but as an attempt to
understand myself and let anyone who is interested updated to what is going on with
me, here I put to words a swirl of emotions.
In November I left Atlanta,
a city with five million people to live in Robbins, North Carolina, city of
less than two thousand inhabitants. The duality and differences are
incredible... it has certainly been an interesting experience. I left the big
city already knowing my time here would be short, and that this small town
would be transition for me... but it is really taking too long.
I left Atlanta missing my
foreign boyfriend and finding ways of being where he is. Here in Robbins,
things started getting a shape, I got a job working online and some other works
came to my hands. I was left to build the money to get to Europe, where Josef
(my heart) is and that has been nerve-wrecking. I was left to deal with learning
to enjoy my presence, learning to spend true time with God and with a
long-distance relationship. I have never missed someone so much like I miss
Josef. If soul mates exist, he is definitely mine. We have our differences, but
the connection we share in life and perspectives in general brought us
together. We have suffered similar pains and seek for the same trust and faith
when it comes to a relationship... I am praying for the day of seeing the man
that stole my heart again - and it is finally coming!
I was brought to this small
town by a Brazilian friend who I hadn't seen in twelve years, and with a one-way ticket. She saved me when I
had no one to run to, and for that I will be forever thankful. Robbins has brought
me the life in the North American countryside, caring for dogs again, facing
the loss of one of those same dogs, watching one of them being attacked by the
dog of one of the selfish neighbors. Robbins brought me an angel called Pat
that has opened her house to receive me and who has offered me precious
mentorship - she is also a "foreigner" here, from Philly, so we feel
out of place together now. Robbins brought me a different perspective on
religion and on my relationship with God. Here I have started grieving my dad's
passing. The same Robbins brought me different views on people's lives and
reminded me of the fallibility of the human nature. I am a few houses away from
John Edward's parents' house, who has just gone through a huge scandal of
cheating his wife who had cancer, having a baby with his mistress and hiding
her with campaign money - the detail is that I attend the same church his
parents do. Robbins is the middle of nowhere and still so very close to
Pinehurst, town with 53 golf courses and heart of golfing in the United States,
with people earning millions, and also spending millions while being so close
to illegal immigrants living in the same Moore County. Being here I've seen a
lot of contrasts... on the outside, as well as of inside myself.
My time of leaving is
coming. I am thankful for the time spend with God and for the people I met
here, but this chapter is about to be closed. I have new adventures to live
with the man God brought all the way from the Czech Republic for me to meet in
Georgia. I am leaving to his arms from the same airport that was supposed to be
home for him in North Carolina - Raleigh. I leave with excitement, but also
aware of the things needing to be fixed due to the longer time I spent here. In
this journey, I pray that God blesses me and remains opening doors... I pray
that my longing for finding home ends in the Czech Republic.
I ask for your prayers as a
new season in the Old Continent begins for me! Let the preparations begin! :)
Much love to all,
Helen.
... You're Creator and I'm what You've made.
