I guess it was about time that I returned to this page. The lack of supposed interesting events in my life has kept me far from expressing myself here... but as an attempt to understand myself and let anyone who is interested updated to what is going on with me, here I put to words a swirl of emotions.
In November I left Atlanta, a city with five million people to live in Robbins, North Carolina, city of less than two thousand inhabitants. The duality and differences are incredible... it has certainly been an interesting experience. I left the big city already knowing my time here would be short, and that this small town would be transition for me... but it is really taking too long.
I left Atlanta missing my foreign boyfriend and finding ways of being where he is. Here in Robbins, things started getting a shape, I got a job working online and some other works came to my hands. I was left to build the money to get to Europe, where Josef (my heart) is and that has been nerve-wrecking. I was left to deal with learning to enjoy my presence, learning to spend true time with God and with a long-distance relationship. I have never missed someone so much like I miss Josef. If soul mates exist, he is definitely mine. We have our differences, but the connection we share in life and perspectives in general brought us together. We have suffered similar pains and seek for the same trust and faith when it comes to a relationship... I am praying for the day of seeing the man that stole my heart again - and it is finally coming!
I was brought to this small town by a Brazilian friend who I hadn't seen in twelve years, and with a one-way ticket. She saved me when I had no one to run to, and for that I will be forever thankful. Robbins has brought me the life in the North American countryside, caring for dogs again, facing the loss of one of those same dogs, watching one of them being attacked by the dog of one of the selfish neighbors. Robbins brought me an angel called Pat that has opened her house to receive me and who has offered me precious mentorship - she is also a "foreigner" here, from Philly, so we feel out of place together now. Robbins brought me a different perspective on religion and on my relationship with God. Here I have started grieving my dad's passing. The same Robbins brought me different views on people's lives and reminded me of the fallibility of the human nature. I am a few houses away from John Edward's parents' house, who has just gone through a huge scandal of cheating his wife who had cancer, having a baby with his mistress and hiding her with campaign money - the detail is that I attend the same church his parents do. Robbins is the middle of nowhere and still so very close to Pinehurst, town with 53 golf courses and heart of golfing in the United States, with people earning millions, and also spending millions while being so close to illegal immigrants living in the same Moore County. Being here I've seen a lot of contrasts... on the outside, as well as of inside myself.
My time of leaving is coming. I am thankful for the time spend with God and for the people I met here, but this chapter is about to be closed. I have new adventures to live with the man God brought all the way from the Czech Republic for me to meet in Georgia. I am leaving to his arms from the same airport that was supposed to be home for him in North Carolina - Raleigh. I leave with excitement, but also aware of the things needing to be fixed due to the longer time I spent here. In this journey, I pray that God blesses me and remains opening doors... I pray that my longing for finding home ends in the Czech Republic.
I ask for your prayers as a new season in the Old Continent begins for me! Let the preparations begin! :)
Much love to all,
... You're Creator and I'm what You've made.