I don't fully understanding what God is doing - Atlanta was all I ever knew here - and God has been changing everything. All I can do is trusting Him.
I tell you... it has been painful. I look at all the things I could have done in these past three years, while grieving my dad's passing. It has been tough.
God has been gracious all along.
It's the whole thing of having the thorn in our flesh, as Paul said... it hurts a lot, it's painful, but sometimes necessary.
I came to Atlanta not knowing anyone... He gave me friends, allowed me to study, to serve a church that I've loved for years, meet inspiring people... more will come, I'm sure. I keep trusting Him... I choose Him, no matter what. He has done great things, He has brought me this far... and He will take me beyond.All I've been doing is walking by faith.
I cannot see anything... I still have to trust.
I still remember a day in August of last year, when I went with a dear friend from Bulgaria to buy a laptop. She wanted it, had checked it in several places. We went to the store, the sky was clear. As we walk outside the store, without the laptop... the biggest thunderstorm I've ever seen started. She wanted to cry, I wanted to do the same... I tried to keep us calm. As I face adversity, I always stay silent... and pray. We walked inside the car,started it, got into the interstate, packed with traffic... the rain was at a point that we couldn't see anything in our windshield. My friend Aleks was shacking from head to toe, started crying... I kept my eyes on the windshield, as the passenger. At some point, because of the silence, she turned to me (she also knows my walk with the Lord, she is a Catholic) and asked: "You're praying, right?"
I just nodded in return, keeping my eyes looking ahead. I knew God was leading us... Aleks started praying out loud. Those were some of the longest 30 minutes of our lives. As we arrived at the apartment on campus, safe and sound... Aleks broke down, hugged me and started crying. It was a good opportunity to witness Christ... God does work in mysterious ways.
As I look to that situation... it's a reflection of what I'm facing now. I have no choice, but trusting Him, in silence, praying, with my eyes fixed ahead, on that windshield. I have peace somehow... the peace that surpasses all understanding. No matter what, He loves me. No matter what, He will come through. I've learned that He is more worried about my spiritual growth than with my physical comfort... and all I want is loving Him more, seeking intimacy with a Creator that loves me more than anything and reflecting Christ to a hurting world - even through my own experiences. All glory, honor and praise goes to Him... we are just vessels.
In all things, I still believe that after this thunderstorm, a rainbow will come.
... You're Creator and I'm what You've made.